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| Marge MacPharland strikes a victory pose after successfully capturing a poisonous viper. |
It’s been a terribly bad winter in
Europe. A poor economy combined with brutal cold and unusual amounts of snow have caused a great deal of
stress. In Scotland, owners of exotic pets, especially snakes, are having a
difficult time trying to maintain the animals and many are simply abandoning
them in the streets and leaving them to fend for themselves. This causes even more stress for the
neighbors because the snakes simply move in next door. After all, they can’t
very well go down and rent a room at the local hotel now can they? But how
would you like to come home to find your home infested with snakes - anything from
pythons to deadly vipers? They could be living in your basement even now and
you would never know it until little Fluffy suddenly disappears from her doggie
bed.
But an enterprising person will
find in adversity a challenge to overcome.
And that is just what Marge MacPharland of Broxburn, West Lothian has
done. The middle age spinster has gone
into the business of snake removal and extermination. Marge MacPharland Snake
Exterminations opened its doors just last month and has already received over
100 calls to get the monsters out from under the bed.
“I’m nary the least bit afraid o’ ‘em,”
she says. “I onc’t spent a month in the tropics on an archaeological expedition,
so I did. Aye, ‘twas Hell, so it was. Hot, humid and full of nasty noisy
creatures. Ach! but the snakes were the worst, so they were. I soon found how
to deal with ‘em, aye, so I did. I developed methods to keep them oot of me ain
tent and oot of me way.” Her methods are environmentally friendly since she
uses no chemicals or pesticides
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Marge MacPharland captures snakes with her bare
hands during one of her many extermination assignments.
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Armed with only a shovel, flashlight, a net
and a shotgun, Ms MacPharland enters the home and searches the attic first. The
snakes are searching for a warm spot and usually the higher elevations are the
warmest. The snake usually enters the house through the basement, but by the
time the homeowner has discovered the infestation the snake (or snakes) is
surely in some warm crevice over the furnace.
“Ya might’na even know you have a
crack in your foundation,” says Ms. MacPharland. “A wee bit of missing mortar is
all those buggers need to slither in and make themselves ta’home.” On the
bright side, the snakes will rid the house of mice. But failing to find any
more mice, the snakes will come after other food such as dogs, cats, antelope
or small children. Ms. MacPharland
advises that you wrap your infant’s crib in cheesecloth to be on the safe side.
She guarantees full satisfaction
and gives a No Questions Asked guarantee. Any person who is not satisfied, or
fails to pay in full, will have the snakes returned. No extra charge.
Mary MacAdam
HERE ARE LINKS TO THE BASIS OF THIS STORY.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2012/02/02/sspca-warn-exotic-pet-owners-after-four-turtles-are-abandoned-in-freezing-conditions-86908-23732625/
