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A Stagnant Exclusive!!

ICE MAN MURDER SOLVED

SERIOUSLY COLD CASE NO MATCH FOR CLEVER LOCAL SLEUTHS

For 5 thousand years, he was buried, frozen in a glacier, just 500 yards from the border of Italy and Austria. After all those year the glacier finally began melting and just 20 years ago hikers discovered the perfectly preserved mummy of the Ice Age man. It was presumed that he had been a hunter who became caught in a storm and froze to death. Recently, however, it was discovered that he was not just a poor frozen hunter – but a MURDER victim. Careful study found an arrowhead lodged in his back. Scientists from Nova and National Geographic have studied the case and proven it was murder but have been unable to provide the answers to “who did it and why?”  These questions are answered by our own local investigators of the ICU Detective Agency who made this case their own and have now announced that this Cold Case is Solved.

SOME BACKGROUND

From observations and DNA testing we know quite a lot about this frozen mummy. He was a 5’2” man in his early 40’s. He had brown eyes. He had Lyme disease and the beginnings of heart disease. He was lactose intolerant. He wore mittens and boots and a cloak; obviously prepared for a trek across the mountains. His last meal was a big one of roasted Ibex meat and wheat bread or cereal. He carried arrows and an axe with a copper blade. He had an arrowhead lodged in his back and a fractured skull – sure signs of foul play even in those rough days.

FOUL PLAY OR A HUNTING ACCIDENT?

He had suffered a severe blow to the head. Tests showed the presence of blood in the brain, which meant that he had been alive, or in the process of dying, when he was injured. The speculation was that either the murderer finished him off with a rock to the head, or he hit his head when he fell. Had an arrowhead in the back, but no shaft for the arrow. The murderer had shot him from behind, and then crept up and broke off the shaft of the arrow. But the murderer did NOT take the valuable copper axe.

An enemy might have shot him and just left him. Or, an enemy might have come up close and finished him off and taken the axe and left the arrow shaft. This axe was the only one of its kind. Drawings on the cave walls in the village at the bottom of the mountain show this wonderful metal axe. Its owner was surely known and idolized. The villagers would not have looked kindly on someone stealing that axe, and probably not on killing the owner either.

So the consensus is that the Ice Man was murdered by someone known to him and his village; probably a member of the village. But who? And Why?

 JUSTICE IS DONE. THE CULPRIT IS IDENTIFIED

The ICU Detective Agency has submitted a report naming the murderer as: the stone axe maker of course!!  Ice Man had gone over into Italy and come back with a fine copper axe. Everyone wanted one. It was clearly superior to any stone axe the local stonemason made. The stonemason could see the future and it was bleak for him. He had no intention of crossing the Alps and becoming a merchant of copper axes. He was an artist! His stone axes were perfect. Everyone was satisfied and happy with them until Ice Man came along with his copper one. And now he was going back for more! Something had to be done.

And if God had meant man to have copper axes He would have made copper lay all over the ground like the stones. Clearly this copper axe was an affront to the Almighty. So the stonemason had no choice but to fulfill God’s will (and his own) and see to it that the Ice Man never came back.

The Stone Age people may have had different methods, but the motives are always the same.

 Mary MacAdam is founder and creative director of The Frozen Tundra, which, so far, exists only in her imagination. Maybe writing for the Stagnant will inspire her to get her words out of her brain and onto a blog? We can only hope!

Mary’s story is based on true findings by National Geographic. See the REAL story here.